Patience est une grant vertu

Maxima enim, patientia virtus

Suffraunce [forbearance] is a souereygne vertue

Pacience is a greet vertu of perfeccioun

Patience is the greatest virtue

A phrase so valued often becomes taken for granted and, consequently, patience is now not often employed as a core value of everyday life.

Patience is a virtue, and virtues, as I take to believing, are collectively the raw value making up a guy or a gal’s goodness or moral worth. Quantifying the worth of people… is that a bit cold of me? Well, I guess I have been thinking about it bit much. Hmm indeed!

But patience is one of those seldom-praticed-AND-seldom-acknowledged things that are only appreciated through apparent results, and I wonder about the merits of this shadowy virtue, especially now that I’m involved with instructing a couple of students who require loads of what the Sage ordered.

Some lucky ones are blessed with the innate ability to withstand frustration on a moment-to-moment basis, making this not much of an issue. I’m not one of those people, at least not in most aspects. Patience is a practice for me, not a superpower. (If only!) As such, it’s very possible for me to lose myself to more selfish instincts. Traces of the primordial? Product of cultural desensitization? I don’t know for sure, but evidence points to my secret love of having my way.

Teaching, instructing - whatever you want to call it - requires patience of me, and I like to think that I’ve gotten used setting myself in that mode the moment I enter a classroom. It’s pretty automatic, but it doesn’t mean that I’ve earned ‘patience as a virtue’. I still become frustrated and lash out at people from time to time; I still rush my work (once in a while making mistakes) when I feel like I’m going to miss a personal appointment; and I still prefer microwaving my leftover pizza over toasting it to a nice, even perfection.

I have to consciously - sometimes verbally - tell myself to slow down and listen to some of the things my mind is saying. I then have to get over people staring at me as if I’m having some kinda breakdown :p And that’s what practice is, isn’t it? The conscious repetition and advancement of something. The more conscious, the better. I find that when I do this, I appreciate the result even when the result results in not having a result. At the risk of sounding high-and-mighty, I think that it makes me good in a way. Wishful thinking? Ha!

Patience is a high virtue… but virtue can hurt you, according to Chaucer. What!? Ahh, I get it… I think? Like many other aspects of modesty and respectfulness, patience can make a person vulnerable to disappointment, loss, and a deal of frustration greater than that of not being patient to begin with. Like perverting The Force into The Dark Side. It’s not enough to obtain patience; you have to maintain it too? Sweet nibblets…

Anypoo, give me three minutes and I will show you leniency; give me a lifetime, and I will show you virtue :p Nya-nya on you!

-Ray

It’s human to fight. That a person can escape conflict is ideal, but not right, nor honest. We fight when we don’t know better, and sometimes when we do. We fight when we feel brave or angry, and so much harder when we’re scared.

When we are hurt, we fight the pain. When we are happy, we fight against change.
When we are lost, we fight our way home, and when we are complacent, we fight to escape.

Everyday, we fight against time to sow all our seeds, all the while fighting our impatience for the fruits we desire to grow. And after we have reveled in our goals, we fight dissatisfaction, knowing that there is so much more to gain.

To feel alive means fighting to capture every moment, and to be at ease means fighting to remember those moments we’ve captured.

We fight for love, and against love, however hopeless the latter may be. We even fight while we are in love so that its bliss need not be paltry.

And while we hate, we hate ourselves because we cannot reach happiness. So we fight to hang on when our world slips away, and we fight to let go when our world is too much.

As such, we fight with much reason, though sometimes without. Either way, reason is to blame, and we fight to find it or to keep it after all the harm is done.

This fighting is within, and it is with others.

Every time we ask Why? or we respond with Why not?

Every time we begin a conflict or attempt to end one, especially when both are done at once for reasons that are the same.

Every time we disavow God, and every time we are absolved.

We fight because we are shameful and proud, spiteful and righteous, intrepid and steadfast. To live is to fight, and when we can fight no more, we look back on all that we have fought for, all that we have fought against. We come to understand that life is a war with victors who see the sense in struggling, and failures who give in while there is so much more to be won.

-Ray

I’m the laziest person in the world… normally. When left on my own, I’ll tend to find a nice, cozy field on which to sit and space out to the sounds of honking geese and the visual hypnotics of nebulous gas puffs (which are sometimes natural-looking enough to be considered clouds). But lately, I’ve been swept up into a tornado of activity.

Just to recap:

• Tmesis Magazine
• GRE exam
• PLC Summer Program (teaching)
• PLC Independent Learning Program
• Putting together a privately owned website for my boss/friend
• BLOGGING!

Sadly, I’ve been ignoring that last one, which is not to say that the list is in any particular order. I can certainly lessen my time doing one or two of those things, but I don’t think I have it in me. That’s a funny concept, now that I think about it.

One thing I’ve been mulling over on my many mental detours to Vacantville is the idea of whether I’ve been having too little time to myself or whether I’ve been having too much. Also in question is what having time to myself actually means. If I choose to use my free time to start or continue an obligation to myself, is it still considered free time? Hmmmm…

Anyway, that’s enough of that. Today - just moments ago, actually - I decided to stop and reflect, and inevitably to write up a long awaited blog post. As my mind is still very much exhausted from the day, don’t mind any ingenuous (yay for GRE vocab!) remarks I may have made.

I’m due for a magazine meeting in 10 minutes, so I’m splitting this post into a 2-parter. Tune in next time to find out what color socks I’m wearing, where I go to buy Grade-A frog meat, and what I do to ensure the impossibility of my students being talked down to in their young adult lives.

This is Ray for Ray’s Journal, signing out.

If you can step abroad to reach great heights
And still recognize what lows can be;
If you can swallow all your lonely nights
Yet have room enough to spare for me;
If you can wonder what it means to ‘know’,
When your knowledge dictates what you see,
Or through the cosmic things in life, you grow
By taking respite in its subtlety;

If you can force yourself to live and fight
For each resolve you have in spite of me,
And separate what’s wrong from right,
Yet still believe in life’s uncertainty,
And take its trial for a gambler’s game
Whose prize outreaches destiny;
You must be bold enough to stake your claim
Of being more that what mere eyes can see.
—
This poem © 2008 by me

It hit us like a ton of pollen, hurr! Like a brick oven? Like a… bottle of Tide detergent?

But all seriousness aside, this change in weather is ludicrous! One night, I bundled up with three blankets for bed, and the next morning I felt like I was being broiled. Not that I’m complaining or anything.

Luckily, today wasn’t too hot. I went in for an interview at Harper Collins, which I think went fairly well. I’ve been focusing so hard on Tmesis Magazine that it seemed like just another fun trip to New York. I mean, aside from the walking outside in a 2-piece suit part - that wasn’t so fun. I had to take shelter in an Au Bon Pain to cool off before going into the office. My interviewer seemed very nice, so it might as well have been a day-vacation. (Though, I am pretty serious about the job.)

Either way, I’ll be working full time, if not for Harper then for the learning center.

***

I’ve found myself in a new routine lately. Every weekday morning, I head down to B&N at around 9am, when they open. I basically use the place as my own personal library, and spend about an hour enjoying their couches while flipping through whatever catches me. It delights me to know that doing so is in fact legal in the State of New Jersey. If I play my cards right, I may never have to buy another book for as long as B&N lives.

Speaking of which, I’ve updated my GoodReads sidebar thingy. It now shows my “bookshelf” of the books I’ve read and for which I’ve written reviews. Specifically, the books I’ve read at B&N with some other ones thrown in there from way back.

***

Ah… It’s been a long time since my last Anime review. Let’s take a look at what I’ve been watching.

GENSHIKEN

Grade: A+ | Genres: comedy, slice-of-life

Genshiken is based on the manga of the same name, which has won critical acclaim in Japan for its execution of the slice-of-life genre, according to this all-knowing Wikipedia article. While I’m still in the middle of enjoying the manga, I’ve watch every Genshiken anime episode that has aired thus far, and I can confirm it’s greatness.

Outside of the traditional realm of anime comedy, its humor is less slapstick and more situational. It’s the type of comedy that you “just can’t make up”, unless you’re a genius like Genshiken’s original artist, Shimoku Kio. Aside from the funnies, the characters of this series have very subtle depths to them, which is also something that’s not common of anime, much less comedic ones. I dare say that I’ve not yet seen an anime with as much depth to its characters as with Genshiken.

The cast reveal themselves naturally, through the common, everyday trials of the otaku, which allows for an easily flowing storyline. It’s a must-see(read) for all contemporary slice-of-life fiction lovers.

THE THIRD

THE GIRL WITH THE BLUE EYE

Grade: C | Genres: action, adventure, comedy, sci-fi

It started off interestingly enough. Somewhere around the middle, I was intrigued. The ending became too terribly convenient.

If you like straight action with a fairly simple plotline, give it a shot. Oh yeah, and it’s also got some B-grade drama in there. Girls crying, tragic bad guy - you know, the usual.

NOEIN

TO YOUR OTHER SELF

Grade: B+ | Genres: adventure, drama, psychological, romance, sci-fi

This series is surprisingly good, and an excellent pick for the Sci Fi channel’s Anime Monday (though I think Noein has actually finished airing there.) I was nearly fooled in the beginning, believing that it would end up as just another action-driven blade fest, but found little bits of mystery that kept me hanging on until the second act, where the first big revelation happens. By then, I couldn’t have stopped if I wanted to.

The revealing plot twists in this story are pretty top notch, but what really impresses me is the detail in which the story explains the whole trans-dimensional merging business. Seems like the writers they did their homework. The characters are also well rounded, and the love story is able to hold its own in the arena of epic romances.

The only think keeping Noein from a ‘Grade A’ is the fact that I would rank Serial Experiments Lain with an A+. When it comes to psychological sci-fi dramas, Noein just doesn’t come close enough.
-Ray